|
|
CATEGORIES
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER AND HIM
|
|
|
|
|
< Back to funny texts
|
|
|
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER?
8:15 AM - Wake up to hugs and kisses
8:30 AM - Weigh-in 2 kgs lighter than yesterday
8:45 AM - Breakfast in bed - freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents- expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner
9:15 AM - Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
10:00 AM - Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer
10:30 AM - Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave
12:00 PM - Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe
12:45 PM - Catch sight of partner's ex and notice that she has gained 17 kgs
1:00 PM - Shopping with friends: unlimited credit
3:00 PM - Nap
4:00 PM - Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from secret admirer
4:15 PM - Massage from strong but gentle hunk - says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
5:30 PM - Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe
7:30 PM - Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers
10:00 PM - Hot shower - alone
10:50 PM - Carried to bed - freshly ironed, crisp, white linen
11:00 PM - Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15 PM - Fall asleep in his big, strong arms
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM?
6:00 AM - Alarm
6:15 AM - Blow job
6:30 AM - Massive, satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7:00 AM - Breakfast - steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler
7:30 AM - Limo arrives
7:45 AM - Several beers en route to the airport
9:15 AM - Flight in personal Lear jet
9:30 AM - Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)
9:45 AM - Play front nine (2 under par)
11:45 AM - Lunch - steak and lobster, 3 beers and bottle of Dom Perignon
12:15 PM - Blow job
12:30 PM - Play back nine (4 under)
2:15 PM - Limo back to airport (several bourbons)
2:30 PM - Fly to Bahamas
3:30 PM - Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot showing their growlers
4:30 PM - Land world record Marlin (1234lbs)? on light tackle
5:00 PM - Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle MacPherson (bending over showing her growler, naturally)
6:45 PM - Shit, shower and shave
7:00 PM - Watch news - Michael Jackson assassinated
7:30 PM - Dinner - lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits
9:00 PM - Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigars in front of wall-sized TV as you watch football game
9:30 PM - Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies
11:00 PM - Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
11:30 PM - Night-cap blow job
11:45 PM - In bed alone
11:50 PM - A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room
11:51 PM - Laugh yourself to sleep
|
|
|
|
< Back to funny texts
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Copyleft © Retro Tech Lounge 2024, all wrongs reversed
|
|
